Back to Preschool

So it hasn't happened yet. Kayla starts her 2nd year of preschool in 2 days. I am having such a hard time this year with her growing up. She will be 5 in December. She got her hair cut this summer and the new do makes her look so grown up. I want to put her in a time machine and stop time. Right now, she thinks I'm the coolest thing since sliced bread. We have "assigned seating" at the dinner table, which basically means that everyone always sits in the same spot. It used to be that I was sitting next to Ricky so I could help him eat better. Kayla started asking if I would sit by her please and it would break her heart when I said no. Eventually, Rick and I swapped seats and I now sit by her at most meals. Even when she sees that I am going to sit by her, she still has to ask, "Mom, could you sit by me?" She has become very attached to me and I have to say that I love it. For the first 2-3 years of her life, she was such a Daddy's girl and it broke my heart on more than one occasion when she chose him over me. Now, I am relishing in the warmth that I feel when she chooses me. Its okay, don't worry, Ricky is very much a Dad's boy and so Rick isn't left all alone like I was.....he has his boy.
Seriously, I want to bottle this time right now and keep it forever. Kayla is so affectionate and is always giving hugs and kisses and tells me at least 50 times a day, "Mom, I berry love you!" She wants to look like me and do things that I do. Yesterday, we lay on her bed and read story after story. Then I read to her some of my favorite poems from my Shel Silverstein book. We spent a good hour just us girls, reading stories and cuddling and its a memory that I will always cherish. As she gets older, I know that I will start to take a back seat to things. Pretty soon, she will want to walk to school all by herself. She will want to go to friends house to play. She will eventually discover boys. The day will come, much sooner than I care to think about, when she will start making her own decisions about her future and her life and I will have to trust that her Dad and I did a good job teaching her right from wrong. These thoughts going through my head lately have caused me to reflect on what an awesome job we have as parents. How hard it must be for our Heavenly Father to allow us to leave his presence and work mostly on our own to get back home to him. I know its hard to think about letting my own sweet girl leave and its years away, I hope. It is humbling to realize the trust that has been placed in my hands to care for another of His children and guide my sweet girl in the best way that I know.
I love you, Kayla! You are my best girl and the most amazing daughter anyone could ever have! I look forward to watching you grow and look forward to creating a wonderful relationship with you that evolves and grows throughout the years. You are the BEST!!!!